Where Are My Figures of TOTAL RECALL?


You can never have too many Arnold figures...

Back in 1990, the year the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles first hit the big screen, Kevin’s parents left him Home Alone, and Julia Roberts became a Pretty Woman, Arnold Schwarznegger starred in two hit films. The first was the much beloved Kindergarten Cop and the second was the sci-fi masterpiece Total Recall.

The film is based on the short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Phillip K Dick, author of Blade Runner and Minority Report. The story follows Douglas Quaid, a construction worker who becomes entangled in a web of lies, betrayal, and danger as he discovers he had his memory erased and modified. Pursued by several men, he escapes to Mars where he hopes to get answers and figure out whose side he’s really on.

This incredible science fiction film, with its bizarre characters and interesting plot, deserves at least one series of highly detailed action figures because you can never have too many Arnold figures, right? The line-up of figures that could be made is as follows:

Douglas Quaid (Hauser), the main protagonist of the film, would need to come in a few different outfits with scene specific accessories. One version would be Quaid as you see him in the beginning of the film. He could include the suitcase with tracking removal device, a gun and a removable turban. An alternate head for this figure could have him pulling out the tracking sensor. He could also include the robotic cab driver, Johnny Cab.

A second version of Quaid would be from later in the film when he is on Mars. He could include the hologram projector bracelet, some different guns, the huge drill that he takes out Benny with ("Screw you!!!"), the arm rest (that he stabs the lab guy with) and an alternate Mars surface exposure head with eyeballs popping out.

Another version of Quaid could be in a spacesuit from his dream sequence at the beginning of the movie, but that might me stretching things a bit.

A definite third version of Quaid would be in the woman disguise from the security checkpoint. This version would be in the disquise with three heads; the woman head, Quaid head, and a mid-transformation head (It would be awesome if this was articulated so you could unfold the panels yourself.) To include a cool accessory with this figure, you could give him a security checkpoint panel with the green x-ray skeleton display.

Needing a female lead figure, I would say Melina, the hot rebel chick over Sharon Stone’s character Lori, because she’s more important to the story and at least a little more interesting to look at. Melina could come with an alternate Mars exposure head, some different guns including a submachine gun. An accessory to make her worthwhile would be the activator panel for the Mars reactor.

Out of all of the villains of the film, Benny the Cabby would be the most interesting. Sure a Michael Ironside (Richter) or Ronny Cox (Cohaagan) figure would be cool, but they are essentially just guys in suits. Benny could have an interchangeable mutant arm and a gun.

George/ Kuato makes an interesting character all on his own. He would feature an articulated Kuato on his stomach and a cloth removable shirt to keep Kuato hidden.

While he doesn’t have that big of a role in the film, Tony (mutant guy), a member of the rebels, has an interesting look about him and could come with some guns.

The last figure is a bonus and probably more memorable than the film itself. Mary, the 3-breasted prostitute, would be the most sought-after figure in the line. She could have either an alternate exposed chest or a cloth shirt. And to give her some sort of accessory, you could include Thumbelina, the midget prostitute wielding a machine gun.

While an entire line for this film is a long shot, I think this movie could benefit from at least one good plastic representation. This would be a good choice for NECA’s Cult Classics line, especially with the recent acquisition of Arnold’s likeness for Conan.

-Michael Klein


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